I can't remember whose blog I got this link from... so sorry for not acknowledging you if you are reading this!! This one is more of a personality test than the others, with the 4 colors seeming to fairly closely represent the basic Meyers-Briggs quadrants (I'm an ENFJ if anyone's curious on that). I wasn't surprised at my outcome, which was high in blue, then tied for yellow and red. I have very clear tendencies towards all of them, to be honest, but yes, blue would be me. *chuckles*
There was one line in the yellow explanation that really struck me, though -- "Yellows Need Emotional Connections -- Yellows often appear so nonchalant that people think they don't care about anything. Nothing could be further from the truth. Yellows need a great deal of attention. They need to be stroked. Yellows enjoy touching. To them, physical contact is often the most direct, comfortable intimate connection."
This made me laugh. Why? I've been nicknamed a "cuddle-slut". Er, don't take the bad connotation for the slut word, okay? It just means that I'm very touchy. The most remarkable thing is that Kevin isn't. Its just not his style, and its been remarked on often how odd it is that we are together. Especially when I read about the weres in Laurel Hamilton's Anita Blake novels and say "Yeah, that makes sense" as they all curl up in a pile together. *smiles*
But the part in that quote that really got to me was that they appear nonchalent and act like they don't need it, when they do. And that is SO true. There's that whole yes no is it appropriate in this setting sort of thing, when its more natural for me to make contact than refrain but because most people refrain then I refrain and well, then it seems weird and just goes on that way.
I'm babbling. And probably sharing more than I would if I were more awake. *smiles* But I'll leave it. Sure, why not. Hells, I know some of y'all have heard the stuff before.
Isn't it weird how we can learn a response that is utterly alien to our natural one, and then live by that instead of nature? There are times when people see me, and they are surprised, because I seem to become someone else than the person they know -- like well, work would be the obvious example. But I think everyone does that.
Its the point behind my mental construct -- the Hall of Mirrors, and the Voices. There are all these reflections, all these images and masks inside of my mind, and I pick the right one out and step into it to wear it for the day, or the hour, or whatever. And when I'm done with it, I shift to whatever is appropriate for the next event, and the next. But am I ever being natural? And do I even really know what natural is anymore? I know what gut instinct is, so I suppose that would be nature. But I'm not sure I can act like that anymore -- everything is so well trained to be what is expected to be, and not what I am.
Too many masks, perhaps. And now, enough babbling. I think Ryan and Dani are finally both asleep, and I should be too.Posted by Deb Atwood at July 01, 2002 12:41 AM