July 20, 2002
Friday Group Therapy 1.3

1. How did/will you tell your children about sex and childbirth and at what age?
Lessee, we've already given Dani (the 4 year old) a basic overview of the subject, which we did the first time when she was about 3 1/2. Of course, we had a good reason, too -- she asked. I was pregnant with Ryan at the time.

I don't see any reason to hide the subject. Honestly, the longer you keep it a mystery, the more curious they are, and the more likely they are to try and find out about it by other means. Demystify it and make it a part of life and they're not going to go exploring. At least, that's the theory.

Basically, I answer questions as asked, and I'm honest. I'll do the same with Ryan. And hopefully we'll end up with well-adjusted kids who aren't afraid to ask questions, and don't feel the need to try things before they're ready.

2. How old were you when you found out about sex and how did it happen?
According to my mom, she told me when I asked at about 4 or 5 years old. I don't remember that one consciously. I remember my best friend when I was in fourth grade got this book about the facts of life and we read it and giggled about it. And then, of course, there were various Judy Blume books (progressively more and more detailed as they were designed for older and older people) for more learning from.

3. What was the most shocking thing that you ever discovered about sex? (Shocking at the time that you discovered it, not necessarily shocking now.)
I can't think of much I was ever shocked by! When I was a kid I thought it was awfully funny -- and the book described the act as pleasurable so we thought people would laugh. But that's about it. I guess I've always been pretty accepting of yeah, well, someone must enjoy it then about whatever I've heard or read or whatever.

4. Tell us about any "first" in your sexual life.
I had to think about this to come up with something my husband wouldn't consider too high on the TMI index (whether or not it had to do with him).

So we'll go with the first french kiss.

I was sixteen, and Steve was my first boyfriend, so he also gave me my first kiss. He had a real thing for french kissing, and his version of it was trying to shove his tongue as far down my throat as humanly possible. Of course, I thought it was the thing we were supposed to be doing (wasn't it?) and being naive, I just kind of tried to go along with it. But that first day, he was eating kumquats, so it was kind of like being kissed while an orange was shoved down my throat.

To this day I can't stand kumquats.

5. What is your "sexual identity"?
I leave it as an exercise for the reader to find the right mirror with the right reflection to reveal that answer... *smiles*

Posted by Deb Atwood at July 20, 2002 11:00 AM | TrackBack
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