March 04, 2003
Odd Place

I'm in kind of an odd place tonight. Mentally, emotionally. Not lost so much. Maybe. But still struggling.

Things keep changing. Y'know those tests that say "if you can answer more than X of these with a yes then you are a high stress risk candidate"? Well, we've got them. Death in the family, new kid, major change in job, moving... you name it, feels like we're seeing it.

Kevin's grandfather is having a hard time of it. He shouldn't be driving, but he won't give up his freedom. I'm going to end up yelling at him that I don't care if he kills himself if that's what he wants but remember that the person in the car he hits might be someone like US. Does he really want that? He's just not thinking. And it's so hard for him. It's hard to lose independance. I just can't imagine it. It terrifies me, really. We're trying so hard to find good options, something that he'll like and will give him a good place to be. And one minute he's happy and the next he's stubbornly digging his heels in.

But truth to tell, he can't take care of himself anymore. It's so hard to see it happening.

Then on my side, my grandmother is in rough shape. She has a blockage in the artery to her brain, and she forgets things. A lot. So she forgot to take her medicine and ended up in the hospital. I'm feeling really bad for her right now... she's having it even harder than Kev's grandfather. She can't manage on her own because she can't remember her medicine... but she's miserable without her independance. I wish there were a better way to care for our elderly. I mean, there are wonderful facilities. Like the assisited living place we found here for Kev's grandfather -- like an apartment with someone who comes by to drive you places and give you medicine and arrange activities. But they are so expensive that so few people can afford to do it.

It is sad, really. We have learned to prolong life, but we destroy the emotions then instead of the body. I want to find a way to help my grandma be happy. I just don't know how.

Posted by Deb Atwood at March 04, 2003 10:02 PM | TrackBack
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