April 01, 2003
Meandering

It's 10:45 at night and I'm trying hard to listen to advice. Which isn't as easy as it sounds.

I've done one crit tonight, and wanted to do a second, but know I won't get there. Which means tomorrow for penance I'll do three instead of two. Although if I get an actual lunch that might be easier than otherwise. Maybe I'll bring The Brigid with me tomorrow -- I love the story and REALLY want to get myself caught up on it.

I'm writing tonight. Going to put in some wordage, even if it's not a lot. See, I do listen to you guys!! And this is before gaming. Gods, this chapter is just so hard to write somehow. The first one tripped out of my fingertips and this one feels wrenched from the heart. I think a part of it is the kidnapping. My mind somehow skitters away from it, from the pain of knowing a child has been stolen. I don't feel like it has the raw emotion yet that it needs, but it will be posted in rough draft format anyway and I can always go back and edit that in some more later. But I want it to be at least partly there first, and it is just SO hard to write.

This is going to be a painful novel to experience as I write it. The mere thoughts terrify me. And yet I put them into words and place them on paper. Does it exorcise the fear? Not really.

Still, this is my new attempt at getting it all in order and organized. First, a crit. Then a little writing. Then game moves. Then another crit. And something during lunch if there IS a lunch involved in the day.

If I'm lucky, sleep by midnight. *smiles*

But then again, who needs sleep. After all, one of the themes of Dreamwalker is sleep deprivation. I'll just call it research.

Posted by Deb Atwood at April 01, 2003 10:48 PM | TrackBack
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