Today I'm trying to consider what I wrote yesterday, about my own fiction. "For You" is out the door electronically, and "Glimmer" goes out tomorrow in print. Both markets have relatively quick response times.
I'm looking at all my work, looking at what I've said and what I've thought. And I'm trying to figure out how to convey that I am both positive and not positive at the same time.
I'm not down on my own writing, although I think my last post really truly sounds that way. I think, more, I am frustrated with my lack of time to really do what I want to do, in the way that I want to do it.
Yesterday I had the most wonderful couple of hours. We were at a hotel, for an N4 planning meeting. The kids were napping. Kevin napped. I subbed "For You" and duly recorded it. I did the rewrite on Glimmer, and then rewrote the beginning and ending again because they weren't quite right the first time. I'm happy with it now, and much happier than I was the first time around -- I think it's a damned good story.
I started the rewrite on "Amber Eyes" and am feeling decent about it. I think... I feel... like there is something inside of me, some story, just raring to get out. And I don't know what it is yet, but I am simply not satisfied with myself. And I need the time to find it.
There is so much to learn, so much to do. So little time. I salivate over the idea of Clarion, but understand and realize that with two small children and demanding job, there is no time to leave it all behind.
Then again, too much time spent wishing, and not enough time doing, will get me nowhere. Which means, very simply, I'd better go write.Posted by Deb Atwood at June 08, 2003 09:01 PM | TrackBack