I ended up getting two crits done yesterday, and just finished one up tongiht (which I am desperately hoping is coherent, because I'm not so sure *I* am just now). I read this story yesterday, and found it so chilling and full of hope at the same time that it really caught my attention and fascinated me. So I had to go back and crit it tonight.
Audrey had some comments on my children's story. Rachel didn't like it. The imagery was just too weird for her, and Audrey thinks maybe the audience should be older than I thought. I'm still not sure. I think what I really need are sketches to go with it (I'd intended it to be an illustrated book for 5 year olds or so) to see if that makes a difference. It is meant to be told with the pictures.
Dunno. 4-7 more crits and I can put it up on the site. Then we'll see what other adults think. But mostly, I need to get it read to children.
Oh, that was the big complement, though. It reads really really well aloud. I know there are a couple of places where the cadence falters, but I *did* get a cadence going and it reads easily. And I'm really, really happy for that, since that was one of the things I was striving for!