A small scrap of paper caught my eye, and I bent down to pick it up. As I lifted it, my eyes flickering over the text, I heard the gentle patter of the rain against my window, and then slowly it faded. I looked over automatically to see the rain stopping. My hand tightened on the paper, and I heard it crinkle. And in surprised shock, the mug slipped from my grasp, crashing into the floor, shattering, sending ceramic and tea everywhere in a cacophony of noise.

I'd never heard anything better.

My door flew open and I spun around to see Jerrym there, his hand on the hilt of his sword. All I could think about was how happy I was, how overjoyed to be able to hear. I didn't even think as I moved forward and threw my arms around him in an impulsive hug. "I can hear!"

I stepped back, embarassed to realize that I had almost squeaked in my excitement, but unable to damp down the enthusiasm.

He wore the barest hint of a smile. "That should make this easier then." His hand drifted away from the hilt of his sword, as if it had never been there. I wondered for a moment why it had, then discarded it. Likely he'd been planning to test me... like Phineas had with following me and Artor. "Do you think you'll continue hearing for a while?"

"Gods, I hope so!" I assured him. I realized I was still holding the odd scrap of paper, and glanced at it again briefly, noting the words I had already read but not really fully taken in. 'The Bearer of Chaos's Bane.' I didn't let my expression change and simply tucked it into a pocket, motioning for Jerrym to enter and closing the door behind him. Then I walked away to find a box so that I could clean up.

I knelt on the floor and started tossing the larger shards of the mug into the box. "I don't know *why* I was deaf, not exactly anyway yet. So I don't know why I'm not. Although I still think it had something to with the Pattern." I paused a moment, having thought of something. I cocked my head, listening in my mind for that feeling... that sense of dread that had been so pervasive. Gone. "It's gone now, did you notice that?" I asked him. "The feeling?"

"The Pattern made you deaf?" He didn't sound like he believed me, standing over me as I knelt on the floor, cleaning up. "I don't think I've ever heard of that happening before." He shrugged then. "And yes, I did notice that the feeling of dread seems to have lifted."

He stepped past me, moving further into the room. "Is that what you wanted to talk about?" He turned back to look at me. "Or were you just in need of someone to hug when you got your hearing back?"

I sat back on my heels to look up at him, wrinkling my nose as I felt warmth on my cheeks. "No, that was just..." I searched for the appropriate word. "Instinct? Anyway," I made a dismissive gesture, a small wave of the hand. "Sorry for invading your personal space and all of that. I was just so amazingly *happy* to be able to hear again. And well, you were there, and I felt like sharing." I grinned at him, shrugging.

I was done with the larger shards, and the rest was going to take more care. But there didn't seem to be many small pieces, and I hoped I wouldn't forget and cut my feet going barefoot. I picked up the box and set it on the desk, then turned back to face Jerrym. Suddenly my mouth was dry as I realized the time had come to bite the bullet, and he wasn't going to be happy with what I brought up. I shoved my hands in my pockets, my shoulders hunching. But it didn't have quite the same bite inside of me... not the same pang that thinking of Jerrym usually had.

Because of Stephan, I thought with a small pleased shiver. I hoped that was a good thing.

"I might as well stick my foot in it early on as usual." I flashed a grin at Jerrym, suddenly confident and not as worried as I had been. I could poke fun at my tongue-tied self now. "Although the reason I wanted to talk to you *originally* is sort of moot, it's still important enough that I'm going to stick my nose where it doesn't belong again. I wanted to ask you about your ring, and Rhiannon, and hearing her. It was more urgent when I couldn't hear," I smiled a little ruefully, "because I needed to understand something, but I still think it's important. And I'm trying to put it all together and I was really hoping you might be willing to help me figure it out."

I could see as I spoke when he started to close himself off. "Why are you so anxious to figure out something concerns me and Rhiannon?"

I shook my head, and made an attempt to reassure him. "I'm not trying to figure out that. I'm trying to figure out something similar. And I thought that if you could help me out, by telling me more about the ring, I might be able to understand it all."

I sat down, my legs crossed at the knees, my hands crossed over the knees. "When I was deaf, I could hear Stephan, as long as I was wearing the ring. And I could hear myself as well, when I was with him, and I was wearing the ring. But when I took the ring off, that was just as silent as everything else." My hands stilled as I realized I had my right over my left, toying with the ring again.

I shrugged, making myself continue on. "I realized that it was like being in Tir-na Nog'th. How silent everything was, and since I had made the mistake with Tir's Pattern, and since we first met in Tir, and," I held up my left hand then, "of course the rings are Tir's, I wondered almost if it were like we were Tir ghosts here. But I don't think that was it, either. But," I smiled at Jerrym then, "that's when I thought of Rhiannon. At first I just thought of how she can be real in Tir, but then I remembered the ring. And I was wondering if there were anything that you could tell me about it... how it was made, how it works, *anything*, that might help me understand this one."

There, I was done with the soliloquy. Now to see if he either hated me, or just didn't want to talk about it.

He shook his head slightly. "I think the only connection between my ring and the ring that bings you to this Stephan is the fact that they are small circular bands of metal."

Okay, he was choosing to debunk it. Not entirely unexpected either.

"I could talk to Rhiannon before I had the ring," he continued. "It just seems to allow her to interact more with the rest of the world. And her reality in Tir is a result of her spirit moving into her Tir ghost. Maybe the ring helps that happen..."

He was thoughtful for a brief moment, then looked back to me. "Even if our rings were more similar, I couldn't tell you anything about mind that might help you. I know very little about it... not who made it, or how, or why..."

I sighed, and knew my expression showed my disappointment. It wasn't worth trying to mask it. "Oh well, it was worth a try. She's in your head, which is certainly a difference. Since Stephan and I are different people, so the rings seem to help that." I shook my head. I had had a thought, fleeting, but wasn't sure what to do with it. "Anyway, I'm rambling. Thanks for coming to talk to me, and I'm sorry for bothering you about such a prickly topic." I flashed a grin at him, trying to reassure him, even as I remembered something else I'd wanted to talk to him about.

I cocked my head, looking at him curiously. "Would you be willing to help me with some training? I'd like to do more work without sound... get my bearings in case it happens again. I obviously depend too much on my hearing. I don't like having that weakness. I'm going to try to work on a few different angles for training, but I'd really appreciate it if you might be willing to help."

He studied me for a long moment. "Are you planning on deafening yourself again?" he asked. "The simplest course would be to just avoid doing that. There aren't many opponents that will rely on deafening you."

I glared back at him, then rolled my eyes and stared at the ceiling. "I don't *intend* to deafen myself again, no. I didn't intend to do it the first time." I snapped, laughing sharply. "And *no* I am not going to repeat what I did to accomplish it. We both agreed that it was a bad idea." I remembered with a sudden vivid intensity the feeling of closeness... of oneness... with Stephan. The frightening pleasure of it. And how I'd never intended that to happen.

I twisted the ring upon my finger, remembering. When I spoke again, my voice was low. "It was an accident, Jerrym. I did something I've done before, and things worked differently. I haven't finished figuring it all out, so I don't know if I'll make a mistake again. The only way to avoid it would be to avoid Stephan entirely..." my voice caught, "and I don't think I can do that."

"Maybe the next time the unexpected effect will blind you, or even kill you," he said with a calmness that infuriated me. "You can't be prepared for everything... at least not in any amount of time you might consider reasonable."

Blind me? I doubted it... I knew why the deafness had been chosen, why that particular affliction. It was Stephan's, and it had been since forever for him. "No, no, I think deafness is pretty much the most logical option," I murmured.

"In any case," Jerrym continued, as if I hadn't spoken, "before you learn to fight without sound it's traditional to learn to fight without sight. That will do the most to help you learn to feel your opponent."

"But won't that teach me to depend even more upon my hearing?" I asked.

"In the short term, yes," he agreed. "In time that will change."

I was silent, staring down at my clasped hands as I thought it over. Even though the effect was gone, I still needed to learn, and as much as I could. So I nodded, and smiled. "I will bow to your experience. And I appreciate it. If I am not at practice, trump me? I won't be there because I'm missing it on purpose and I will be doing my best to keep track of time."

He raised one eyebrow slightly. "I already have a student, Adrienne," he pointed out to me. Clear, simple, no apology no rancor. "And if something is going to happen to Amber, I suspect I'll have little enough time even for her."

So he wouldn't teach me. I was hurt by that... when I needed his expertise so badly. If he were at practice, and there always seemed to be time to work with more than one student... why not? And Moira wasn't always there, either. But I wouldn't argue. I was past that. I simply shrugged and smiled at him. "Well then, I won't pressure you about it. If we get the chance, fine, otherwise I'll find other ways to study."

I stood up and stuffed my hands in my pockets, intending to turn away. But as my left hand went in, I touched the scrap of paper I'd put there before. I frowned a little and drew it out, staring at it. "The *feeling* may be gone, but I can't shake the idea that something is happening still."

He glanced at my hand. "Does what is written on that have something to do with what might be happening?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly. I held out the paper to him, and he took it. "It was just interesting how things happened all at once. I was working on something when the paper just seemed to be there. As I picked it up, I could hear again, and then the rain stopped, and the feeling went away. Very well timed, and well, interesting."

I needed something to hold onto, something to settle me. So I walked over to the table and selected another mug. I poured steaming water into it, then replaced the herbs in my tea ball and dropped it into the mug to let it steep. I glanced back over my shoulder at Jerrym. "Want anything?"

"No thank you." He was still looking at the piece of paper. "You know, this resembles something I found in the hallway on my way here. I suppose the timing is a little too convenient for it to have simply been a coincidence."

I turned to face him again, cupping the warm mug in my hands, frowning slightly. "Yes, just a little too convenient."

He reached into his pocket and withdrew a piece of paper similar in size and color to the one I had. "This one says 'The One who Sees, but does not Hear.'" He turned it so that I could see it, and the capitalization in the phrase. I stilled, the mug held loosely in my hand, suddenly unable to move.

"It seems that someone has taken it upon themselves to send us cryptic clues about what is to come... which of course means that someone knows what's going on," he continued, not noticing my pause.

"The One who Sees, but does not Hear?" I repeated softly, remembering Stephan. It was alright to be caught by the phrase... if he thought about it, Jerrym would think I was thinking of myself. "Interesting. And yes... it may well mean that someone knows what is going on." I managed to get my feet moving and sat back in the chair, my legs crossed, the mug of tea balanced on one knee as I stirred it. "But did whoever knows also make the rain go away? And the feeling stop? It's strange... there's no feeling of dread hanging over me, and if anything, I'm more worried now."

"I can't really picture the Pattern taking the time to leave little cryptic notes laying around," Jerrym pointed out, taking a seat facing me. "I take that part of things to mean it was probably a someone, rather than a something."

I sat back, taking a moment to sip at my tea. I settled it back on my knee, cradling it in one hand while the other idly picked at the fabric of my slacks. I just needed something to do with my hands, and it least it kept me from playing with the ring.

"Well, it's irritating that someone dropped something in my room just as I *thought* I was getting the wards in place." I flashed a grin at Jerrym, but then grew more serious. "I honestly am not sure I care who it is. If there's a problem, and we can fix it, I'd like to do that. If it's one more of Oberon's games... I still owe him a chewing out someday." I made a face. "I'd be surprised if we were the only ones to see something. Although..." I pause, wondering aloud, "I wonder if the people who felt it sooner -- if they can still feel it?"

"I care who might be behind the notes because they may well have some understanding of what's going on," Jerrym explained. "If that's the case, I'd prefer not to waste my time fumbling around for answers someone already has."

"Good point," I had to agree. "And I'm not about to just ask the Pattern if it was its fault."

"As to your other point, I suppose I could ask Fiona or Moira about what they're feeling the next time I talk to them," Jerrym mused. "Perhaps my father will even return to Amber."

"If he returns, that would almost definitely mean the feeling is gone, right?" I asked, sipping at my tea. "The feeling was what was keeping him away?"

"My father wasn't coherent enough to explain exactly what had driven him away," Jerrym told me. "If don't know if it was the feeling of dread itself, or the source of that feeling. If he's feeling well enough to come back, I'll be sure to ask him."

"That would be good," I agreed. My mind had wandered off... speaking of the Pattern made me think of Artor. Which in turn made me think of Tir-na Nog'th. "What are your plans for the evening?"

"It's early enough in the morning that I haven't given it much thought yet," Jerrym admitted. "I've actually been trying not to make too many plans because of the expected problem." Was he chiding me? I wasn't sure, and went ahead with what I'd been going to say anyway.

"Well, if things don't go entirely haywire before nightfall, Tir-na Nog'th should be solid tonight." I smiled at him. "Although you might want to have some sort of backup in case Artor can't hold everything off. Although since the storm's stopped, he might not even have to." I wrinkled my nose, thinking briefly of bumping into Jerrym and Rhiannon in Tir. I wasn't sure if I was ready for it yet. Then I grinned. "I just thought the two of you would like to know."

"What does Artor have to do with whether or not Tir is solid?" I could actually see Jerrym's curiosity. "Has he come to some agreement with the Pattern about the weather?"

I shook my head. "Not the Pattern, just weather magic. He's going to help me out tonight, because I had an idea about my deafness. I'm still planning on checking out some things." I smiled at him. "I think I can manage to stay out of your way if you want to go up as well."

"Thank you," Jerrym returned solemnly. "We will try to do the same for you."

I looked at him for a moment, hesitating. I had come to think of Jerrym as something like a friend. I still wasn't entirely certain we were friends, but it was the best place I could find to put him in my mind. So I decided to suggest, "Unless you'd like to meet Stephan. If he's up for meeting you, that is." My voice was soft. "There's still a lot of walking carefully going on between us. And..." my smile flickered, "don't get so distracted you plummet again, okay?"

I don't think I'll ever forget that time... catching Jerrym as he fell from Tir. I managed to not shiver just remembering it.

If he were anyone else, I'd say he scowled. "I think that my meeting Stephan at this point would be a mistake."

I couldn't hide my hurt at that, and looked away so that at least he wouldn't see my eyes. When I thought I had it under control I looked back, only a bit confused, and perhaps angry. "He's not responsible for any of this crap. Believe me, I'd know." My smile was rueful, remembering *being* Stephan for a moment. "but I'm also not interested in you trying to kill him, either."

"I don't *try* to kill anyone, Adrienne." Jerrym's voice was flat, stating a fact. "Once Stephan makes whatever explanation he might have to offer to Bleys, then I will follow my uncle's lead in dealing with him."

"We haven't made it that far in the conversation yet," I had to admit. I sat forward to place my mug onto the table, and then stared down, picking at an invisible piece of fluff on my slacks. "We just barely started to talk about it, but well, the trust isn't there yet. Give me time, and I'll get it all figured out."

The way he spoke suddenly got through to me, and I looked up at him, worried. "I haven't told anyone but you and Moira that I've actually dealt with him. I mean, everyone knows I'm looking, but you're the only ones who have any idea how hard. Do you intend to tell Bleys? Or anyone else for that matter?" I didn't know whether I could trust him or not on this... didn't know whether I even should try.

He stared back at me, studying my expression. "I wasn't planning on it. But I suggest you get things cleared up with him soon. It could be that he was, in fact, attempting to kill Bleys, and might try again."

I nodded, closing my eyes for a moment. "I know," I said softly. "I'll take it up with him again tonight. I don't think he's responsible for what was done to Galen, after he died. But Bleys and Brennan... I don't know about that yet. But I'll find out." I looked back at him, my expression full of resolution. And I did intend to do just that when I found Stephan next. I would find out to the best of my ability.

He nodded solemnly. "I'll look forward to hearing from you then." He paused for a moment. "Is there anything else we should talk about?"

That I was willing to say? I shook my head. "Not that I can think of." I was picking at a string I'd found on my slacks... found it fascinating really. "See you later, then."

He stood, looking at me strangely. He seemed bothered somehow. "Yes, perhaps at lunch, assuming things don't go too wrong before then." He turned, and walked towards the door.

"Jerrym." His name escaped before I quite realized I'd spoken. I'd stood and picked up the mug again. I looked at it, realized it was empty, and set it quickly down. Then I took a step, one hand out as if to stop him, and then realized what I was doing. I stopped, rolled my eyes at my own behaviour, and let a long breath escape. "You looking like you were going to say something," I told him. "And you *know* I'm too curious not to ask what's on your mind."

He stopped, simply standing there for a moment before he turned around. A hint of a smile played about his lips. "Actually, I was going to ask you what it was you weren't telling me."

He had caught me, and I laughed a little at myself. "Caught myself there, didn't I?" I said softly. I took a deep breath, waving my hand, "I..." I wasn't sure how to put any of it into words... all the things on my mind. Wasn't sure if I could, to Jerrym anyway. Damn, I missed Ardath. I took another deep breath. "Jerrym, you are one of the very few people I trust. But right now, I'm afraid you probably don't *want* me to trust you. Because you don't really want to hear these things. Because I might say something that you'll take a different way. And even if *I* believe that I am doing no harm to Amber, and act in her interests... what if you believe differently?" My voice was low, and as even as I could make it. "Besides, I can't see you really wanting to hear all about Tir-na Nog'th and silly girlish confusions. I could so easily bore you to tears."

"How can you dismiss them as silly girlish confusions after saying you think they might make me believe you're not doing what's best for Amber?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. As he stood there watching me, I felt my heart sink. Once we had been very alike in our beliefs, at least, that's what I had thought. We had had the same belief in Amber. Now I wasn't so sure.

I crossed my arms as well, my chin going up a notch defensively. "Easy. I'm talking about Tir-na Nog'th, and I *know* you don't respect its visions still, right? And if you don't want to *meet* Stephan, then I'm pretty sure you don't really want to hear more about him. Especially given the reason you gave for not meeting him."

His expression and tone were stern, almost chastising. "So your association with Stephan is what you think might present a threat to Amber," he asked me.

"No." I was resigned, knowing there was nothing I could do to change his opinion now. "I think *you* might think it presents a threat to Amber. *I* don't think it does at all." Why had I started down this track? No matter what I did, my foot was only going further down my throat. And I really had never learned to like the taste of it.

He stared at me steadily. "Have you actually asked him about his intentions toward Amber then?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Asked, no. But if you want to understand anything of why I trust him, you might want to sit down. It isn't a short story. Well, it isn't long, but I'd be more comfortable sitting." A smile flickered briefly across my features, then I gave up and just looked at him pleadingly. I was trying to open up. Trying to trust him. Hoping I wasn't getting myself and Stephan set up to be killed as enemies of Amber. "But please... if you feel you have to take action against him... tell me. Don't leave me in the dark about it."

"I can't promise you that, Adrienne." He moved back to his chair, sitting down and still watching me. "I can tell you that right now I don't have plans that involve moving against him, but that's all."

I closed my eyes, still standing, biting my lip, twisting the ring upon my left finger. Should I trust him? Or not? But I needed to trust someone...

"And I really don't want to have to somehow stand between the two of you. I can't protect both of you." My voice was hardly a whisper. Shaking my head, I moved back to my chair as well, refilling my mug of tea on the way so that I had something to hold onto.

I settled myself into the chair and sought through my memory for the right place to begin telling the story. I couldn't find a perfect one, so I just picked a point and dove in "I saw Stephan in a vision. I told you about that. The dream that was a vision, and was strange. Where I got the ring." I touched the silver band on my finger, and for a moment smiled. "I wanted to find him after that, and I tried something you did once -- I used the Pattern to reach out to him. Tir's Pattern, of course."

"You mean you asked the Pattern to bring you to him, as I did when Mirelle was missing?" he asked, leaning forwarded in the chair, his elbows resting on his knees.

I shook my head. "No, it was Flora I think, that you did it to. Only you managed to bring her to you. I just wanted to talk to him. It was rather like Trump, but without the Trump involved."

I could tell he'd remembered the event. "Actually, that was mainly Artor's doing," he admitted. "I just gave him a target, and then the Pattern got a little overenthusiastic."

"Well, Artor probably has more skill at it than I do, too," I admitted drily. "The contact worked well. And we talked for a bit, and then we met and talked again, until he got too unsettled and took off." I held up my hand, my thumb touching the ring, "He's got a matching on, and when we got to talking about it, he wasn't ready to discuss it."

I was getting to the more difficult part, and I caught myself making a face. I covered it up by setting the mug carefully down on the table, then lacing my fingers together over my knees. "So I decided to contact him again. And I still don't have a card, so I did the same thing with the Pattern." I looked over at Jerrym, cocking my head. "If anyone ever suggests doing something like that... using the Pattern to make a mental contact... decline. Trust me on that one."

"I've never been one to take the Pattern lightly, and less so now after its recent history of odd, and sometimes dangerous, behaviour," he pointed out firmly. "I don't think it was ever intended to be used as a substitute for the Trumps."

"No, I doubt it was." My voice was dry, and I had taken the chastisement to heart. I knew that now, more than well enough. "But it worked, except... it got too close." I glanced up at him, wondering what he was thinking. "I meant what I said about being pretty certain he didn't mean to harm Amber. I think I would've noticed it. It was like I was inside his mind. No barriers there."

"Or he might not think that killing members of the family is harming Amber," Jerrym pointed out. "Which is something I'd mostly likely disagree with."

"I knew this conversation wouldn't go well," I muttered, staring at my hands. I was miserable again. I couldn't explain exactly why to either of them. I might not be in *love* with Jerrym... but I still felt something for him. Even if it were just a strong friendship. I hated having him and Stephan at odds like this.

"I wish..." I took a deep breath. "I wish I could get the two of you to talk. But of course, that would require him actually talking and either of you being willing to meet the other."

"Clear up his intentions towards Bleys," Jerrym said flatly. "If Stephan doesn't intend to kill him, then maybe we can talk at some point. If he does intend to kill Bleys..." he let his voice trail off, and shrugged faintly.

I took a deep breath, holding it for a moment before letting it out in a whoosh. "Do my damnedest," I said softly. "Maybe we'd better table this discussion until after that, then. But." I paused a moment, unable to let go of the other topic. I looked up and cocked my head. "Those notes. D'you think someone was trying to warn us, or help us? I know you'd rather find the person who sent them than figure it out, but which d'you think it might have been?"

"Id I had to guess I'd say either Dworkin or Oberon," he said thoughtfully. "I can't see any of the rest of the family bothering with something like this." He paused a moment, then added, "I suppose it could also be someone new to the scene."

I nodded, equally thoughtful. "I'd think more Dworkin than Oberon -- he's still a bit busy after all." I flashes a grin at the thought that the newlywed Oberon would have time for these games. "Well, it doesn't really matter at the moment anyway. I suppose we'll either find out more when whoever it is wants us to, or we'll figure it out on our own."

"That's the way these things tend to work," he agreed with me.

I stood and set the empty mug down on the table. I felt like I was prolonging the conversation somehow, and I couldn't quite figure out how. Maybe trying to recapture a bit of the friendship I'd thought we'd been beginning to have. Before Stephan. But I didn't want to give up Stephan.

"Well, if you learn anything, let me know." I picked up the mug again, walking away to put it to be rinsed.

"I will." He stood as well, "I'll see you later then."

I turned to watch him as he left. As he opened the door, I saw something strange in the hallway. A ghostly version of Rhiannon, standing outside as if waiting for him. She opened her mouth, but then seemed to change her mind and pulled him in to kiss her instead.

As I stood there, my mouth slightly open, Rhiannon became more solid, her arms entwined around her lover. I expected it to hurt. To tear my heart out. But instead I found myself smiling, pleased at his pleasure. Whatever he had been doing to get her back seemed to have worked. I chuckled softly, calling, "Congratulations? Don't mind me."

I moved up closer to the door, standing there for a moment. I was curious if it were her. If she were a ghost somehow still. Against my better judgement I did the instinctive move and called Tir's Pattern to mind. It came quickly to mind, faster than ever before, as if it hovered there, waiting for me. But it wasn't stronger, just there. And then I looked at Rhiannon. I could see no difference between them. Rhiannon was as real as Jerrym was.

The kiss finally ended and Jerrym turned his head to look at me. The surprised look on his face faded into annoyance as he looked at me. Silently, he slipped from Rhiannon's arms and took her hand, leading her away down the hallway.

Still smiling slightly, I simply closed the door.