He thought I might be about five years old or so. He wasn't sure, but that's what he decided on. And a year later, when the same date rolled around, he told me it was my birthday. I wasn't even sure what one was. I mean, we were all alone. But Aggie tried to make it special for me. He brought me sweetcakes -- my favorite, chocolate -- from the day old stuff that they were going to throw out anyway. And he found me a piece of silver chain that someone had lost on the street.

I treasured those things. I remember falling asleep with the silver chain wrapped tightly in a chocolate smeared fist. I curled up on his shoulder, replete and safe with my brother.

I tried to do the same for him on his birthday. My first try only got me into trouble... I didn't realize that the sword I had found still belonged to somebody. I just *knew* Aggie wanted a sword so badly he'd do anything for it, except risk getting his hand cut off as a thief. Still, I got it right later on, when I bought him the first real sword he ever owned.

Birthdays were a special time. He wasn't so sure about his either, but we knew he was about twice my age when he found me. When he turned 18, he was already in the King's Army. I had to get help from some of his swordmates. But I did exactly what I planned... I gave him his first shield, with the King's emblem emblazoned upon it.

He wore it proudly until the day he died.

He wanted to do something equally special for me when I came to my adulthood. I had been a woman for years already, but at 18 I had the right to live on my own and no longer have him decide for me. Until I married, I belonged only to myself.

He found me where I sat, sharpening my blade carefully, on the edge of a riverbank. He had been mobilized only days before, and we thought we had perhaps another day's travel until we reached our quarry.

"Happy Birthday." I looked up and he was crouched next to me, grinning. Green eyes glittered, and his dark hair fell over his brow as it always seemed to. My return smile matched his.

"Is it?" I asked, as I always did. "I don't feel any older."

He chuckled, and shook his head. "Can't fool anyone any longer, 'Mara. You've definitely gone and grown up. Everyone's talking about it."

I felt the flush rise to my cheeks. "Tell them to forget about it, Aggie. I'm not interested, ok?"

His chuckle deepened into a laugh. "Don't worry, I'm not about to get you on my bad side, little sister. I just pity the man you set your sights on. He'll never have a chance to get away once you've made up your mind."

I rolled my eyes. "What makes you think I need a man in my life, hm? After all, brother dear, one of you to look after is more than enough for me. And here I've got a whole army to take care of. You men are more trouble than you're worth." I shook my head. If I let him, Aggie would have me married off and settled somewhere safe. He hadn't seemed to mind me tagging along when I was younger. But as I grew older, and as I attracted the interest of his swordmates, it seemed to bother him somehow. But I would wither and die in court. I just couldn't see myself behaving well enough to impress anyone. I'd be more likely to answer an insult with my sword than with mere sharp words.

His eyes darkened seriously. "Damara, some day you need to settle down. This isn't any life for a woman."

He was going to push the issue. "Aggie," I said warningly. I sheathed my blade and stood, slipping the sheathe back onto my swordbelt. "You know damned well that I can take care of myself. Better than half of you lot sometimes. And at least *I*'m not distracted every time someone of the opposite sex walks by."

I was near growling my anger by this time, and to my surprise he laughed out loud, then pulled me into a warm hug. "Don't ever change, 'Mara."

There were days that I wished I could read his mind, know what was going on there. Instead, I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Gods willing, I don't intend to, Aggie." I slid my hands between us and pushed lightly at his chest, pushing myself away. Then I cocked my head, grinning impishly. "Did you say something about my birthday?" I asked innocently.

He reached up, combing his bangs back from his face, although the moment that he let them go they slipped right back to where they'd been before. He was grinning again. "What, I thought you said you didn't feel any older? Thought maybe I should hold onto your gift until you *felt* like it was your birthday."

"Don't tease me, Aggie," I shook my head, still smiling.

He put his hand on my arm and started to walk away, leading me further away from our encampment. Once we were out of sight, he motioned for me to sit down and I did, and he joined me there on the bank of the river. He had a bag over his shoulder, and he reached into it and pulled out a pile of loosely wrapped cloth. "I've been carrying this since we left the castle," he told me. "Thought about giving them to you early, but I knew you wouldn't want to leave them behind anyway."

He had me curious, and I've never been patient. I quickly untangled the soft cotton and unwrapped my gift. When I was done, the fabric lay puddled on my lap, and sitting there atop it were two arm bands. Perfectly matched, they were made of wood, with silver traceries all around them. "They're beautiful," I breathed, picking one up in my hand, cradling it gently. The wood was soft, oh so carefully sanded. Not a splinter to be found. The silver tracings were inlaid, intricately done all around.

I took one band and slowly slid it up my arm until it fit, just perfectly, around the muscles of my upper arm. It seemed like it belonged there, staying as I stretched and bent, and moved around, trying to see if it would dislodge. And it didn't.

I slid the other one up as well, and must have looked silly as I near danced there on the riverbank, the arm bands waving in the air, clinging tightly to my arms. Then I looked back at Aggie who still sat there, looking up at me.

"I love them." I knelt down and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him fiercely. "They're beautiful."

His arms went around me, his hands tangling in my hair, and he held me close. For a minute I thought I heard him say something, but I wasn't sure what it was, so I said nothing in return. I just knelt there for a while and stayed there with him.

With my face buried in his shoulder, I made my birthday wish. I had started doing it long ago, and my wishes then were so different. So childish. But right now, as we made our way towards yet another battle, I wished fervently that the gods grant us safety and health, and grant that Agrivar and I would exchange birthday gifts again next year.

And finally I pushed back, still on my knees, and looked at him. I was suddenly serious... just because of the thoughts I had had. And when he looked at me, Agrivar seemed serious too. More than I had seen him before. But it only lasted a moment, and then he grinned at me, and I had to return it. I jumped to my feet and held out my hand, pulling him up as well. He kept ahold of my hand and drew me in for one more firm hug, slapping me on the back, before he let me go.

"We should go back," he said firmly, and he turned and started walking back to the encampment. I wasn't really ready to go back yet, ready to face the thought again of war so soon. I've changed since then... learned to savor the approach of battle. I was young then.

Agrivar must have reminded people that it was my birthday. There was a festive air in the camp, and Cookie had made sweetcakes for everyone. Even chocolate, despite the expense. I was touched, and I had a wonderful time that night. Until finally, earlier than I wanted to, but later than was practical, I tucked myself into the bedroll, banked the fire, and finally slept.

I was awoken roughly in the morning, by feet stepping on me, over me, and someone falling just on the other side. "Wake up!"

Matt was yelling, and all around me we were stirring, starting to wake up. His grey eyes stared around at all of us, terrified. He was the youngest of them, younger than me, and whatever he had seen had scared him.

"Men," Matt gasped. He pushed himself up to sitting, and took the water Cap'n offered. I was already moving, stuffing my bedroll into my pack, strapping on my sword belt. "Too close." He shook his head. "Trap."

"Trap?" Cap'n's eyes narrowed. He turned around and started barking orders, but we were already moving. We broke camp and were yanking on armor as fast as we could.

It wasn't fast enough.

Everything seemed hazy still in the dawn light. And chaos was everywhere. I didn't have time to think about it, simply spun and got my sword up in time to avoid being hit. Mercenaries... not trained troops. Some kind of an ambush. And they'd caught us with our pants down.

A sword crashed down against mine, my body shaking under the force of the blow. I looked up to find a man far larger than I grinning down at me. Leering almost. I growled low in my throat back at him, pushing his blade away with a strength that surprised him. A quick grin flashed across my face, barely having time to form before he was at me again. He took a brief moment to look me over, taking in my rangy form, the long reach I have even for a girl. And yes, to register that I was only a girl. And then his sword swung up, driving in to stab under my ribs.

I countered him, blocking him though the blow pushed me back. To my left I heard a scream, almost girlish in its high pitched squeal, and then the soft wet thump of a body hitting the ground.

No time to think about it now. Block, block, then jab quickly, darting back. Make him come to me. Make him take the offense, and piss him off enough so that he loses any caution. I'm only a girl. I taunted him with blows rained on him, too heavy for him to ignore, not skilled enough for him to be wary of. I could do better, so much better. But I didn't.

That was my plan. And as he came at me again I drove forward, grunting with the effort of my sword piercing his armor, sliding between the chinks of his mail. Exactly where I had practiced over and over again. The sword bit through his skin, then through organs internal, and then against the mail on his back. I twisted with a loud gutteral cry, dragging the blade back out and slicing him again.

And then I watched him fall. I don't know what I felt as his body hit the ground. Elation? Not really. He was my first true kill... the first I had felt die upon my blade and fall after I struck him. And now he was no more than meat for the buzzards, who would feast upon this battleground when all was over.

I had a moment, barely, to turn and register upon my mind the rest of the encampment. I squashed the rising horror. There were more than I had realized, and they were destroying us. An entire battalion of the King's army would fall this morning; fully half were already gone and the sun not quite up yet.

The sky was lit with streaks of red and orange in the dawn light, an eerie echo of the blood upon the ground below. I noted the fallen with an almost detached interest.

Matt was there... the voice I had heard scream behind me. An axe protruded from his skull, left behind when it bound in the hard bones and couldn't be dislodged. Cap'n fought nearby, but a huge gash was evident across his chest, and his movements were slow. It wouldn't be long before he fell, and they knew he was our leader. They hoped if he were gone we'd be lost without him. But we knew that wasn't the truth -- without Cap'n we'd fight even harder, to prove his memory and his death worth our valor.

"Damara!"

I spun around at Agrivar's shout, my sword coming up automatically. "Agh!" Not fast enough. My enemy's blade sliced through the skin on the outside of my thigh, cutting deeply. Not so deep I couldn't move, but it bled badly and pained me with every step.

I didn't give him the chance to gloat. Agrivar's warning had been enough, and now this man would die as he'd intended to kill me. I swung my blade hard, screaming nonsense about gods and hell and things I don't remember now. Oaths to gods to deliver his soul personally.

His head fell from his body, and I spat upon it, cursing him again.

There was a lull in the fighting before me, and I saw Agrivar looking around as well. I ran towards him, and we met in a clear space. His eyes were filled with joy to see me, and concern over my wound. He put his sword down, reaching for me, for the injury, and I just shook my head. "Not now, not here. I'll be fine. Back to back!"

Sword up, I spun away from him, and heard him moving behind me. I was comforted then to know he was there, standing with his back to mine. And together we faced the mercenaries who came at us.

It seems we fought for hours, moving as a team. And everywhere around us friends fell... more friends than enemies. Until it seemed that only we two still stood... only two of more than a hundred of the King's men. And far, far too many of *them*.

"Run." Agrivar's voice was low and urgent. It cut through the haze of pain that fogged my brain.

"No." My response was equally low, hoarse from the shouting I had done. Still did as I growled out my fury in an attack. "Not as long as we're both alive. I won't leave you here."

"Gods take you, Damara, I said run!" He was shouting at me now, mingled with a cry of pain as a blow rained down on his shoulder. I risked a glance back, and saw no more blood, but I knew how jarring those blows were. I'd taken several already, and my head rang from each one.

"NO!" I thrust forward with the furious shout of my response, letting anger carry my blade through the belly of one enemy, slipping it out and spinning to barely catch another. "I *will not* give up!"

I was afraid then. Truly, and completely, afraid. It was the first time, I think. The first time I had truly understood that this might be the end. That either Agrivar or I could die here, and never see the other again. Pain clouded my judgement, and I was determined that if I could die to save him, I would. Agrivar would survive.

"Dam..." He started to say something then, but the words were swallowed in a cry of pain, and hissed gargle. I felt my heart leap into my throat, felt the shivers over my body as I turned.

It seemed the world slowed around me. A sword still fell towards me, but I stepped back and watched emotionlessly as it continued on to strike the ground, the merc howling his fury. All my attention was for Agrivar.

The pike had thrust through his belly, thrusting up and into his back and out the other side. The end was dug into the ground, propping him up. He stared at me, his hands bloody as he tried to hold himself inside, tried to staunch the flow of his death onto the already bloodied ground.

And then time stopped.

I thought I stood there forever, staring at him. I couldn't feel the pain in my leg any longer. The sounds of battle faded around me, faded to complete and utter silence. I just stared at him, my eyes locked with his, his hands reaching out to me. He begged me to kill him... to destroy him.

And if I did not, they would leave him there until the buzzards picked out his eyes and ate his entrails... until pain blissfully faded into the darkness of death. It could be a very long time.

I took one hesitant step forward, my sword coming up to do as he begged, and then time began to flow again with an abruptness that startled me.

There was a man between us, grinning lewdly and leveling his blade at me. And another, and another, until three blocked my way to Agrivar. I heard him call my name, garbled as his lifeblood bubbled up from his lungs. And then one word came clear. "Run!"

I could do nothing here anymore. Agrivar was dead, and I could not reach him to finish him myself. I prayed that he might die quickly, soon, before giving them the satisfaction of the finish. And if I stayed now, they would surely kill me. There were so many of them, and only myself now... I had to run, and then return later and take my revenge.

"Forgive me!" I half whispered, half shouted, as I turned on my heel and flat out began to run. I was hindered by my wound, although at first I had enough speed to get away. But I ran directly into the woods... the scrub that was the foothills of a mountain range... and then lost myself there.

And all the while I vowed my revenge. And cursed those who had spoiled and refused my birthday wish.