[This is a response to the Character Quiz posed by Kerry during the character creation phase of the game. If you are a player in the game I ask that you do not read this unless explicitly directed to do so as this is personal character information. Thanks! Everyone else, read on...]
I was fifteen, just about to turn sixteen. She was three years older than me, and my tutor in movement. What is movement? We spend an hour a day, as the dawn streaks over the sky, working to tune our bodies. The children meet later, after they have had breakfast for the day, and then again shortly before they take a nap in the afternoon. But the women of the clan meet in the morning, in the glade, and greet the sun. We learn to move gracefully, and to know our bodies well so that any move we make -- be it for pleasure, knowledge, or battle -- is executed perfectly.
I was newly recognized as adult among the clan. I had taken my own room in one of the young adult houses, and left the childrens' quarters behind. For the first few months Athanasia would be my tutor in the grace of the morning movements, until I knew them by heart and was able to execute them on my own.
I remember seeing her there, that first morning. Her pale hair shimmered in the light of early dawn, swirling around her face as she stretched and moved. She turned to me and smiled, inclining her head politely and murmuring hello. I did the same and then stood next to her. In silence, she began the movement, and I did my best to echo her every move.
Slowly the women of the clan gathered, and began the morning movement. There were no words spoken, no chastisements to those of us new to the gathering who struggled to find our way. Athanasia moved closer to me, changing my movement with a touch to a wrist to move it into position, or a gentle push against my foot to move it out slightly. She directed me in silence with only looks and touch.
I shivered.
When we ended that morning she offered to work with me, when I had time, that afternoon. She was impressed with how quick I was to gain understanding of the patterns, and I shyly admitted that Deirdre had shown them to me during our private sessions. Athanasia was not surprised. Deirdre had asked her specifically to be my mentor, as Deirdre was unable to be there when I began my life as an adult. I was pleased with Deirdre's choice.
Over time, Athanasia and I worked closely together, and spent more time together. We enjoyed the same music, and I loved to watch her paint. She did my portrait, and when she showed it to me the first time, I stood so close to her I could not resist. There was something in the painting, in the way she portrayed me, that made me think that she would not object if I were to kiss her.
And she did not.
It had, by then, only been a month.
Time slid by then, flowing effortlessly away in the throes of first love. I spent every waking moment I could with her, until she laughed and told me I should not neglect my other trainings. And so I trained ever more intensively, so I could have more time with Athanasia. And despite her protests, I saw that she did the same.
After two months had flown by we petitioned for a shared room in the young adult house. Athanasia was working to gain a house of her own, but it would be months yet, if not years, before that were possible. I had already begun the work towards my own as well, but I thought that it meant nothing. I would pool my resources with hers, for why would I need a house? I knew, with the certainty of youth, that I would live with Athanasia. That this was a life-mating, and we would grow old together.
Everything can change in mere moments.
Athanasia and I were on a scouting expedition, climbing the Eren mountains in order to ensure that our borders were protected. Aletheum is bordered on one side by barbarians, who delight in raiding out most outlying clans. Several women had been picked for this scouting mission, to work in pairs. Despite her talents as an artist, Anathasia's best talent was for tracking, and we worked well as a pair with my skill with a blade.
I had my new dagger -- a gift from Corwin -- at my hip, and as we walked and talked in low voices, I patted it as if to assure myself it were still there. The dagger was a new style for me, but the blade it became when I willed it was comfortable in my hands and fit as if it had been made for me. And knowing Corwin, perhaps it had.
It was a long trek, several days of complete privacy. We made camp along our way up the mountain, snuggled together in our sleeping bags and whispering soft words to each other. It is a time of my life I will always remember.
The air thinned as we climbed, more difficult for Athanasia than for myself. She grew tired as we moved, and our progress slowed. We had yet to find the barbarian encampments, although Athanasia found telling signs of their passing.
We stopped to rest on our fifth night away from home. We made no fire -- Athanasia knew they were close somewhere, and we had to hide our presence. We found a space in lee of the cliff, so it hung over us to protect us from the chill mountain air. We curled together, a tangle of limbs, and after a while, finally slept.
Something woke me, like a whisper against my mind.
Voices, trickling over one another and sliding into my ears like water over the rocks of our river. I blinked awake, looking out, and saw nothing. No lights, no movement. I was silent, barely willing to breathe as my one hand settled on the dagger that lay next to me. My fingers closed about the hilt and I listened. Yet there was nothing.
The tension in my body woke Athanasia and she stirred, coming awake at once with a soft word of confusion.
It was as if that were the cue and suddenly there was a roar of noise, and the mountain tumbled down on top of us.
Rocks pelted down over us, and I fell atop Athansia, covering her with my body. I heard her cry out… she was taller than I and I could not possibly shield her in entirety. The weight of the stones crushed me, flattening me against her painfully, crushing her beneath me. And still the stones fell, hard, pelting me painfully, until one came down upon my skull and I lost consciousness.
When I came conscious again, everything was dark. I drew shallow breathe, feeling Athanasia's body give beneath me. I held my breath then, waiting for the faint bare movement of her own chest to draw breath. She was alive.
Yet we were buried here, and there was little air and little room to breathe. No light penetrated our prison. And I was terrified. Everything I had learned had taught me nothing of this. I could not move, could not lift the stones away. My dagger was still clutched in my hand but I could not move it, not that I expected it could do anything anyway.
I do not know how long we lay there. I drifted in and out of consciousness, praying that Athanasia survived. I whispered to her, telling her how I loved her. And she could not speak, but I believed I knew that she responded. I could feel her there, even though I couldn't see her. Could feel her essence.
We didn't have long. I knew our time was almost up. Athanasia drifted, the sense of herself sliding away until I urged her to stay with me, begged her to stay alive. And then I began to hallucinate. A sense of voices, hearing them even though I couldn't hear a thing. And seeing… as if I looked in from the outside, seeing where the mountain had collapsed down in a tumble of rocks, and the woman and men of our clan both worked to pull back the stones. I knew I imagined it, for Corwin was there. But why would I imagine him and not Deirdre? I had seen him more recently, and usually far more rarely… it should be Deirdre.
It did not matter -- my hallucinations did not change and I came to imagine they could be truth. I whispered what I saw to Athanasia and imagined that this held her with me, held her barely alive beneath me. And when the stones lifted from my hand and I could move, I found her hand and clasped it in mine.
The voices in my mind merged and my mind swam with the sudden confusion. The rocks were gone from my body yet everything was still dark. I felt hands, familiar -- Corwin, lifting me from Athanasia. I cried out, reaching for her, even as they worried over her, afraid that letting go would release that fragile link.
I tried to kick against Corwin, feeling pain shimmer in my spine, releasing bright light into my darkness. He cradled me close, tightening his hold around me until I could not move, cocooned in his arms. He stood there until I breathed more normally. Almost calmly, although each breath was a sharp knife of pain.
I stayed in my darkness and felt for her, reaching out to find where she lingered nearby.
And I felt nothing.
I screamed then, railing against Corwin, tuning out the words of those I could hear yelling to each other over her still body. My mind bloomed open, seeing them flat against the darkness of my vision, bent over her crushed body, a faint blue from asphyxiation. Corwin's arms tightened as I twisted to get away.
I passed out again, into a blissfully dark and silent world. When I awoke I was in the hospital, alone except for a nurse. I felt my eyes open, but everything remained dark. She murmured, "I'm sorry" and I recognized her voice… Mara, a friend. From her tone I knew that everything I had heard and seen in my mind was true. I could not erase the images from my memory. Athanasia was gone.
[This is a response to the Character Quiz posed by Kerry during the character creation phase of the game. If you are a player in the game I ask that you do not read this unless explicitly directed to do so as this is personal character information. Thanks! Everyone else, read on...]
It was the last time I saw Corwin. I didn't know that he planned to visit before he arrived in the midst of the night.
I felt his presence even while I slumbered -- his arrival always changes the tenor of my home -- after all, he is male, yet somehow, not male by our rules. Corwin is different.
I was still mostly asleep when he came into the house. I awoke when the door opened, and I sent my senses to hear him and see him, and upon realizing that it was merely Corwin I believe I sank back into the warmth of sleep and Deirdre's arms.
His footsteps echoed down the paths of my dreams, and I rolled over, dragging myself slowly from the depths of dreams. He paused to knock upon the door, then entered, calling out my name to wake me. His voice sounded as if he had something to tell me, some news that simply couldn't wait.
I sat up, the blanket falling away to puddle in my lap. As the cool night air struck her back, Deirdre muttered in her sleep and rolled over, curling into my warmth. I settled a hand on her shoulder, smiling for a moment, before I turned back to Corwin.
He stood there on the threshold of my room. One hand was raised slightly as if in the expansive motion of speaking, yet he said nothing. His face was closed to me, expression shuttered. He stared, and I stared back at him, my hand on Deirdre's back, my mind trying to come back from the muddle of sleep into the waking world.
And then he turned on his heel and strode out. His footsteps moved down the stairs almost too fast for me to count and then the door slammed. I grabbed my wrap and ran after him, but when I pulled open the door I could no longer see him. He had already shifted away from Aletheum.
And I have not seen him since.
This website is best viewed if you download & install the Diamond Fantasy font, which is being used for the posting titles. Yeah, its silly and a little thing and if I could figure out how to embed it so y'all didn't have to download it on your own, I would.
And if you don't download it, well, you'll just see very large Arial type instead. No big deal!
Welcome to Haley's website.
Haley will be a character in Games Without Frontiers, run by Kerry Mealing. At this time, we are still in the character creation and statistics auction phase.
During the course of the game notes, stories, etc. will be posted to this site. I ask that any players in the site please do not read the stories of Haley's background unless specifically directed to do so by either myself or the GM. After all, its no fun learning things OOC when they can come up by surprise IC. *grins*